We should learn to socialise and make a community of friends and well-wishers. Sense of Saftey comes from the community. One who is part of a community can look for a reprise in times of emotional draught. Even during a professional crisis, the community comes to rescue you. Important things are to develop yourself as a community person among a sensible lot of people and maintaining the same for life.
The 'community' that I mention is not religious or caste-based. It is not even a neighbourhood or social gatherings. However, it does depend on the proximity of members. They must be in access not virtually, but at the 'throw of a stone' distance. The bliss of sitting together at tea or lunch and doing gossips or purposeless conversations, cracking jokes and sharing personal shareable feelings, eating ice-cream after a gala-lunch or just taking a small walk and make more space for belongingness, all are integral to our lives. We tend to avoid these or are forced to avoid as the facilitation to such things has ended.
Workplaces support this sense of connection and interpersonal health, but cages don't. Even the CCTV in a common room or staff room cannot take away the joy of being a community. 'Man is not an island.' We are a vast landscape decorated with the zig-zag contours of mountain peaks. The bottom and the top and the bottom, all need a connection.
One should see the daily feat of shared lunch at some office. The gentlemen and even the gentleladies are seen joyous and the outcome is a rejuvenating one. Right from the moment you shake hand with warmth with your chosen friends and everyone at the office to the sayonara moment in the closing hours, everything adds to the Sense of being Connected to a Place. I have experienced the fact that you are not just connected to people but places as well. Millions just don't switch their workplaces because there is a priceless bonus they are entitled and they cannot miss that.
I was with AICC at Amity University Noida for more than 6 years. But the moment I got transferred away from my community, the decision that was delayed for 2 years, had to be taken within the next 6 months. I decided to leave the job and shift to another chosen place, to try making that a home for life. Nostalgia isn't just based on places and your interaction with them, it is based on people who related and responded to you in all those years.
I joined Gagandeep Chauhan, Gagan Bhai, at his office of the news channel, for lunch that was to happen at 05 PM in the evening. We were 06 and 5 could manage to sit on chairs and stools and 1 was allowed a standing seat. One by one Tiffen boxes opened to pleasant surprises and known surprises as well. The same dish (fabulous Kadhi) in two but different tastes altogether brought to meaning the essence of life. I wasn't that hungry and could easily avoid eating much but this treat wasn't the routine for me. I eat alone at the office and that does not allow the joy, though I relish the dining.
We all, I a teacher and others seasoned journalists talked, laughed, teased and ate, ate to the core of stomach and the feast concluded with the unsaid assurance that the togetherness shall be coming the next day again, in the same tiffin boxes but in different colours and tastes.
I missed old days, wishes for a revived present and prayed for a future. We do find many things in the lives of others around us that can make us feel some rea or unreal vacuum. There is dictum that Life is Beautiful and that makes each thing eligible to be appreciated as beautiful, not just labelled as beautiful.
The amount of depression, conflicts and personal deficits are a result of the death of this community which wasn't a documented one. People chose it and remained loyal. They kept their commitment to the unsaid constitution of belonging and tool this talent of 'making friends' where ever they moved.
Forgetting the worth of this communication is harmful. Even if we don't have one such community with us now, we shall certainly get one to join. Discipline and sensible conduct are the two hallmarks that make you eligible to enter the Community. Just plant good conduct and keep yourself motivated and happy about being a human.
The Curry (Indian Kadhi) shall surely bless you!